Everything about today's church gathering was difficult - a seemingly shallow offering of praise, an unmet craving for a larger community of faith, and distraction coupled with a personal inability/failure to give selflessly to others by listening, serving, loving. These raw experiences, if left unchecked, would lead to self-pity. But...
Aki was in our midst. I know better than to ignore the "rollercoaster" history, but I also know that she HASN'T given up yet. True hope. She journeys back to the Father and the community of faith. She shares brokeness with us - a healthy dose for those that tend towards the sterile, outwardly well-kept faith.
Takako wiped tears away as she shared about reading "Purpose Driven Life" with her ailing mother and another elderly member, Eiko. "God draws us closer in our hurt and suffering," she said. How does God do it? How does He work in one's heart to transform hurt into a wounded healer of others?
Clear answer to prayer was that Mai worshipped and fellowshipped with us today. I feel so out of touch with her faith journey, but I almost cried because her presence relieved the ache of longtime absence. It served as a reminder that as she is precious to the Lord, so is she precious to me and to this community.
Even lacking the experience of intimacy with God for which I desired, I feel in awe of His obvious working.
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