i lift up my eyes

The other day, Moses asked me, "How long were you at this conference?" I replied that it was only a little over two days. But I realized the true implication of his question. The way I was going on and on in my reflection tells a different heart story. It was only a little over two days but it was a cup of cool, refreshing water in the desert. And I realized that I'm on the edge of the desert and headed back into green pastures.

For me, it was more than just "a conference". It was a time of renewal. I felt like Ben and I made friends with several others who have a heart for the youth of Japan and who actively seek God's leading in breaking down the impossible barriers to get to them. It was a time of admitting our weakness and sin, and the sin of the young people around us. It was a time of hope.

Audrey and Becky's beautiful voices were so refreshing to worship with. Audrey asked questions we're all asking - Phil's response "It's okay if we don't have the answers yet...because we can't get answers unless we have questions," - and I was excited to see Japan afresh through Audrey's eyes. Ryutaro, Becky and I shared in a time of prayer for Becky that I won't forget. Ryutaro's tender care at the core of himself is priceless. Witnessing Judith's stalwart faith and stick-to-it-ness really encouraged me to keep going. Eriya shared some of his fears in taking on leadership, and we talked about Moses' reaction to God's call. In turn, Eriya spoke words of encouragement into my life in a mealtime conversation that he probably doesn't realize how badly I needed to hear it. Paul also spoke words of affirmation into our lives two different times. Phil and Dan - two of the most intense people I've ever met - just made me excited! You have to love being with intense people because you can't help but get excited about whatever it is they're talking about. Ken blessed me with his heart of worship and with sharing both his gift and his struggles. Our talk on the hike was really important. Andy blessed me with his ability to laugh and his gentle heart. Junpei was a testimony to the meek inheriting the earth. Marc's prayer showed such a commitment to God's word and it's activity in Marc's life. Lowell's vision-casting was inspiring. Matt and Nadine are people I could spend a lot of time with - really creative, but also down to earth and very REAL. Matt's prayer for me affirmed to me his intimate relationship with God. I also found my time with Endo and Makio to be that way - very real, very refreshing. YamaKen has such an open, hospitable presence and I wish we had a couple days just to talk. The rest of the staff at Northstar, too, were so friendly, helpful and servant hearted. And Ben...I have too much to say so I'm just going to have to leave Ben for his own blog entry (one that's long overdue anyhow). Did I forget anybody?

God brings us to mountaintop experiences. I've been at the summit. Now I'm back to my regular ministry, but I'm a different person. And after being on the mountain (literally and metaphorically speaking), I can join David who speaks in his Psalm, "I lift up my eyes to the hills. Where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth."